my boss sent me inappropriate text messages

There was never any talk of an expiry date for this allowance, and I was never told it was being varied/revoked. How we manage this is a calendar and out of office messages with who to speak to when they are not there. Its based on historical tradition, that were most effective for agricultural workers (daylight hours), right? Do they get to work 20h? One thing the manager did was send out an email to all supervisors (thats what my position was too) telling them not to make any plans because they would need to be available in case she finds another reason to call out again. It was poisonous enough that one of my colleagues came up to me and begged me to not take off a certain day because he really couldnt afford to cover me for that day. Its the opposite! And call-blocking apps are also available to help cut down on potentially suspicious texts. One of my therapists in grad school told me to lean into peoples feelings in these situations. Glad to hear you moved on to greener pastures. Ask Culture. At my last company, my grandboss forwarded me an email from our CEO saying Alice has really messed up, she has to go. Ill never know if the layoff and the dirty little secret were related, but I had a better job within a month, so it was really a moot point. I was rear ended at 30mph whilst stationary and signed off sick from work by the hospital, and got this text 4 days later. A place to discuss career options, to ask questions and give advice! Mine was 8-5. Seemed like it came out of nowhere. If you show me no flexibility then I can do the same. Getty. We had a long conversation that ended with him telling me to use him as a reference in my job search and there would be no repercussions. Most companies will not fire workers by phone, email, or text message because they have a brand to protect. That is just the intelligent and human approach to handling things. This is legal. plus, if you treat me like an adult, then on the days that all kinds of stuff is blowing up, I will probably be in there EARLY. That is some next-level Mean Girls BS right there. Scammers are using a bizarre new tactic to get your personal information. My boss is always saying things but Ive learned she does not mean them! As far as the time thing, I come from a retail back ground so to me its all small potatoes what time I have to go into work. Even the people that knew what I was doing each am gave me attitude like I was getting special treatment. Treat Textual Harassment Like Other Harassment, HR Advises - SHRM I knew I wouldn't have said anything rational or nice at that moment. I hate confrontation as well but an added benefit of addressing this with your boss is establishing that you can handle tough discussions with her. If youve spotted a scam, whether or not you fell victim, report it at BBB.org/ScamTracker. Still an assumption, but the presumably negative intent is what prompted the OP to ask the question in the first place. And even exempt staff have to be there when the schedule says and any deviation from the printed schedule requires a report exlaining why the schedule was not followed. Drove me crazy. Worst Reddit Texts From Bosses - BuzzFeed Saying dont you think Alice should try to arrive on time while in the very next sentence saying even though they dont have set times is a particularly impressive failure of logic. "If anyone asks you to pay with a gift card, it's a scam.". Yeah no, I read a lot of passive aggression into that sentence. I recently inherited another employee from a different department Mary. Have I crossed some invisible boundary by taking too much advantage of our flexible hours? update: my employee accidentally sent a rude message about me to me So I dont know if Diane has similar kinds of inconsistencies/mood swings but that could be a factor. This is one of the big reasons I left my last job. I understand, no one likes arguing or confrontation of any sort. How To Eliminate Rude, Bossy & Passive Aggressive Email Tone While its true that there are roles we hear about in which people are putting in 60+ hours a week and still not getting everything done, Ive learned from reading the comments on this blog that there are a LOT of people who only have 4 or so hours of work to do in a day on a regular basis, with some periods of being busy and actually working 8 hours. I confronted her on a big lie (which translated into at least $20,000 in lost wages for me), and things have gotten progressively worse for me. So might as well shorten the time period of feeling lousy. Its true that when I arrived at 9:30 I wasnt available to my colleagues for a while, and after most of them left after 5 I wouldnt be able to talk with them if I had questions about a project. This reminds me of I know we require fifteen pieces of flair, but BRIAN has 37 pieces of flair.. Im glad the grandboss got your POV and didnt fire you due to a cruddy hair trigger CEO. My friends boss told him he needed to adjust his schedule so friend could be at the daily meeting. This thing of X is okay then three months later X is not okay drives me nuts. So I should, hypothetically always be here for 40 hours. I don't deal with their shit anymore. Any thoughts there? Im glad Im not the only one whos confused (although the replies, especially the bit about addressing this with her, are really helpful). I have 30+ hours saved. Thats a really great script and I will keep it in mind :) That's because the Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI) is warning that there's one type of message from your boss that could be the sign of a scam. I accidentally found a spreadsheet once in my old companies Sharepoint that detailed who they thought was on the promotion track and who they thought were just OK and would not be considered. I routinely send her emails at the end of my workday (I have to send constant status reports because we have a time-sensitive project due in a few weeks). But you also have to provide them with what all on-call jobs contain. how can I avoid talking shop outside of work? Reddit, Inc. 2023. Perhaps its the sincerity? Either way, shes being compared unfavorably to her coworker who shows up at 9, and I think that says a lot. maybe), a friend of mine stumbled onto a strangely titled file located somewhere in the companys computer system. Scan this QR code to download the app now. We do file an alternative schedule with HR as well because our office Follows Rules. It forms data that engineering organizations use to estimate their next projects. According to the FBI, this new type of deceptive message is known as a "smishing" scam. So even though you are now on the 9 to 5 and you dont mind, I would still encourage you to discuss everything with your manager about her expectations and whether they had changed so that you can adjust your schedule accordingly. Couldnt work there any more. Bottom line is that if her manager is bothered by the hours shes working, she needs to communicate that to OP, and not send venting emails to another manager. Whatever joy you had for this job will drain away down the worry hole if this is left unsaid. If she had something else in mind, can she clarify that? Yes, the early starters get the morning person kudos, but they also get massive side-eye from people when they waltz out of the door at 4pm. Thanks for the support. By rejecting non-essential cookies, Reddit may still use certain cookies to ensure the proper functionality of our platform. Comments Off on What Should You Do When Your Boss Sends Inappropriate Text Messages? Photos of the senders (or another persons) genitals, Requests for pictures of the recipients private parts, Requests for sexual favors in return for career advancement (quid pro quo). Azmeh Dawood, the older sister of Pakistani businessman Shahzada Dawood, said her nephew was reluctant to go on the . Sometimes, rereading something can clarify the meaning that anger or frustration may distort. Because they won't do anything. I sent one of those oopsy IMs to my boss complaining about my boss. If you receive a text or direct message from a coworker that makes you uncomfortable or is sexually explicit, report the issue to your HR director. So, understanding any texts at all are inappropriate, unless you have given permission and the texts fulfill a legitimate business purpose, content. Can an employee show your boss a text message from their - Avvo.com My productivity is still not as good as it used to be (although I am now working fewer hours so that also plays a role!) Inappropriate texts come in any number of forms. When I tried to ask more specific questions to get to the root of the problemboss replied "that's enough for today, go enjoy the rest of your day." This sounds like my former boss she was terribly afraid of confrontation (re: managing) and when you asked about something shed usually say it was ok in the moment then stew over it later, and a lot of what she noticed was based on whether she liked you. Instead of approving major reports and documents, shed nitpick font size and margins instead. Anyway, management was putting heavy pressure on me to drop the case, I guess because they assumed that me being younger meant I wouldnt know how to fight back. It may seem legitimate, but it could mean you're handing your informationand moneyto scammers. If she wants you in at the same time your coworker comes in then she needs to say so. But strange or unusual requests should also be a red flag even if they come from a number you recognize since fraudsters can sometimes clone or hijack the number, messenger account, or email. Can Employers Enforce a Dress Code Policy that Targets Someones Hair? Pt3 of this ego centric manager fucking up bad and blaming me. I work for USPS. And to go further really, this should be on her to sort this out, not you. I meant work less and still get paid the same. According to the FBI, there has recently been a surge in "CEO fraud," an email scam where fraudsters spoof a message from the boss to trick people working in the organization into sending money to an untrusted source. People who stay until 6pm often get more kudos for staying late, because all people see is that theyre always the last ones to leave in the evening, conveniently forgetting that they didnt actually arrive until 10am. If you're still having trouble, please consult your browser's help page, or choose a city and state/province from the type ahead dropdown choices. Supervisor Sending Inappropriate Texts or Pictures? I feel like the nicest companies to work for are always the ones that treat employees like adults if youre constantly nitpicking people because theyre coming in at 9:02am or leaving at 4:58pm, its not going to create a good working environment (obviously Im saying that as a salaried employee in the UK who doesnt get paid overtime). Anon4this has a point. After Hours Emails Are Worse Than You Think - Forbes Again, if Diane means this but isnt saying it to OP, she should be saying it explicitly, not grousing about OP to others. There are people out there who think 9 AM is the Official Work Start Time of the United States or something. That was not remotely my understanding, the issue wasnt that it was my first job (oddly enough, three years later, I still have CFS and would STILL need some understanding and allowances around that, although things are actually better now that other circumstances have improved) and I was never told that it was a transition period. Answer (1 of 3): You have no idea Okay the story starts off at my place. Contact the firm ofBranigan Robertson to find out how we can help. Its more fun to work for a boss you can respect. Id regularly get in before 8, but would still work until 5. Yeah, so Unless your job actively requires someone to be chilling out waiting for something to happen (client services, retail, that kind of thing)- your workday is probably longer than it actually needs to be. Then, at 4:15 I got a text message from my supervisor saying she needed me to jump on another meeting. I was in a similar situation as OP. I do regret not talking to her immediately when I got the message, although part of why I didnt (aside from feeling uncomfortable) is I work in a dreaded open space where nobody has their own private office. She did not say you dress funny and you are too tall. Its not right or fair, its a perception thing like youre just sliding in at 9:30. Furthermore, some clients will attempt to conceal or delete text messages they have sent in response to their harassers. I know that in management positions I have avoided conversations I should have and I admire that you took this on. Dont you think is a way of saying, Im sure you agree and/or back me up on this complaint, will you? If shed said, Do you think, thatd be different. "I don't want to get into an argument with you, so I won't say anything.". On my first day in the office I was asked what are your hours? and told them I planned to work 9:30am-6:30pm each day because it made a huge difference in commute times due to traffic. Put me in serious shock and panic of course, especially since I dont know WHY hes saying that. I appreciate it. However, now that Ive had to manage someone who really bucked me on coming in at a certain time with the argument but as long as the work gets done, I will ask OP: When you think of the work getting done, are you thinking of your specific assigned output, or are you also considering the impromptu collaboration that sometimes happens between you and your boss, or between you and other team members, as part of the work? "Titanic" director James Cameron said during an ABC News interview that one of his longtime friends was among the passengers on the . :/. There are different situations and ways in which workplace harassment can occur these differences can result in different levels of liability for the company depending on whos sending the inappropriate material, and what is done by the company to stop it. But bonus for us! Be wary of any emails or texts from your boss asking about purchasing gift cards or transferring funds. So of course, I should be fired because he didnt remember which hotel he wanted to stay at and didnt check his calendar that contained all the updated info. Since reading in your other comment that she is the owner, I believe she was indirectly/passive aggressively (potato/potahto) telling the other boss to set and enforce working hours starting at 9. Or maybe its the willingness to rise above the matter. The common themes of the many different forms however are typically: They are unwanted. There are certain signs that a text you've received is from a scammer. Its also possible she wants to be seen as a cool, casual, flexible workplace but actually just isnt as okay with the flexibility as she thinks she is. I think Ive seen both sides of this. It doesnt have to be a confrontation. However, now that Ive had to manage someone who really bucked me on coming in at a certain time with the argument but as long as the work gets done, I will ask OP: When you think of the work getting done, are you thinking of your specific assigned output, or are you also considering the impromptu collaboration that sometimes happens between you and your boss, or between you and other team members, as part of the work? What about work related text messages on your personal cell phone? There are no federal laws prohibiting an employer from terminating employees via phone or email. Make sure you click Allow or Grant Permission if your browser asks for your location. Dont let stuff like this fester. This could be purchasing gift cards for a client or wiring funds to another business. The only thing I could think after reading this was that at least it was accidental. Have you ever sent an inappropriate text to your boss? If so - Quora When inappropriate texts aren't harassment - CBS News So I've been working at my current job for a short amount of time. But if its really important to you that I be here at 9 and leave at 5 every day or more regularly than I have been that is something Id want to know so I can plan for that.. Because thats something people who are being passive-aggressive in an ah-t way do? Starting half an hour later is hardly drastic. It sounds like my 9:30-5:30 schedule is annoying you.. Maybe even adding something like Im always open to your feedback and hope you feel you can address issues with me directly in the future. If they say they will be working 930-530 every day and then they consistently change it every day to 10-6 or even 9-5 Id get frustrated too. Thats what I thought was weird! Aside from the embarrassment of receiving a message meant for someone else, and a message reprimanding me to boot, I am very upset and annoyed by the implication that I have been slacking off when for the past week Ive been staying late (usually until 6 or 6:30) sometimes even locking up after everyone else is gone. Communicating Through Text Messages with Employees: A Cautionary Tale Written by: Arjun Dhir Email, text message, iMessage, WhatsApp - these are some of the many means of communication in today's digital age which continue to expand. What managers dont seem to realize is that if they treated their people like adults, theyd get a lot more out of them than micromanaging every detail. It was no surprise I was job searching the moment my probation period ended. The whole saga for me was, in hindsight, a huge lesson in communicating very clearly and documenting everything in detail. With great advances in digital technology, come great opportunities for nasty surprises. It reminded me of the letter writer who asked Alison what do about employees working from home. My first job, my boss was very inconsistent in that way things that were totally not a problem when he was in a good mood suddenly became an issue when he was in a bad mood. All rights reserved. If you reply that you received the text, youll be asked to do a quick task. Either way, your first step is as Allison has said, to talk to her and see if the policy has officially changed. So I called my supervisor And he pretty much said I was on my own. Id say it sounds like she looks at it as a professional working attitude to be there at 9 am as the start of the business day. Unless your job has a set time for answering phones, theres no reason to be so inflexible. Boss restricted PTO hours because the business isnt making enough money. Because seriously, she needs to grow up. Im probably the person who is most apt to nudge it half an hour forward or back with no notice, but then 1) Im the boss, and 2) do I work enough to make up for it, oh yeah. It feels similar to the letter writer who wanted to wear jeans to the office but her boss didnt want her to. I should talk to Diane but I hate confrontation and I hate the idea of comparing my schedule to my coworkers. (When it was unofficially looked into, it was discovered he generally wasnt even sitting at his deck preferring to walk around the office and hold 45 to 60 minute conversations with friends who were there until more people started coming in earlier (including our task manager) and he realized he wasnt able to get away with it like he used to.).

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